I'm not going to be able to properly articulate the emotions that I've been feeling. I'm heartbroken, angry and quite simply devastated; our beautiful Angelina girl has died.
Just days prior Danielle and I were on the phone talking about how the doctors were surprised with how the drug lutathera was working for Angelina; they thought she could potentially have six more months with her incredible girl. Then just like that she's gone.
I was supposed to see Angelina on Sunday for our usual silly shenanigans, and now instead I was with my heartbroken friend helping her plan her daughter's service. I knew this moment would come and yet it's still shocking. My mind is spinning in utter sadness, disbelief and ANGER that this beautiful, incredible light that is Angelina could have been stolen from us all!
I am so tired of this horrible disease! In the almost 7 years since our family's personal fight against childhood cancer started, I have attended the funerals of 7 of my close friends children, not to mention my dear friends who lost their kids prior to us having met. When will it be enough? When will people realize that childhood cancer is NOT just about the child effected but about EVERY child! When will people acknowledge that childhood cancer is the number one disease killer of our kids and truly be frightened by this statistic in a way where they are lining up to help those of us on the front lines!
People assume that since we're a childhood cancer foundation that fundraising must be SOOO easy, that people are just throwing their money at us to help these kids and their families...and yes, we have some wonderful, loyal and generous donors, but with that it's still incredibly difficult to get the support that we need in order to make a difference and help these families AND the researchers working towards a cure. I try to keep in mind that there are so many worthy causes out there in dire need of help, that childhood cancer is not the only one, and that people are spread thin in regards to their donation dollars. I do want everyone to give to us or to another childhood cancer foundation. I want this disease to be our number one priority as a society, because watching these kids fight against it, witnessing their pain and it's path of heartbreak and destruction is almost unbearable at times.
I know most of you didn't know Angelina personally. But to me, to her family, to countless others who had the privilege of knowing Angelina or even those who didn't know her but who were inspired by her....this incredible loss is overwhelming to say the least. We might not have been related by blood, but Angelina will always be family to me. Whether she and I were playing a game, dancing or even just laying in her hospital bed taking turns playing our favorite songs, we always managed to have fun.
Family to me is not as simple as a blood connection, true family are those people around you who love you unconditionally and without judgment. Family are the people who tug at your heart by the simple sound of their voice or even that fleeting thought of them. They're the kind of people who give you a guaranteed smile and who can make you laugh on a dime. Angelina is my family...I have so many beautiful memories, so many things that she said to me that truly shocked me to the core in a wonderful way.
I always felt honored that she claimed me as one of her favorite people and that she'd end our visits with a big "please don't go" hug and a "Love you 3000" (Marvel fans will understand that). Angelina was SOOOOO funny and feisty (much like her amazing mama), I really don't understand how this earthly world will continue to revolve without her in it. My own heart breaks and yet Angelina is not even my daughter, I can't even fathom the pain that Danielle, Sandy and Aiden are feeling and will have to live with for the rest of their lives. I hate this for all of them.
Angelina, I am SO proud of you and the incredible person that you had become. You truly lived every single day to the fullest and in the process you kicked cancers ass. You were strong through it all because you had no other choice, but you did have the choice to be happy along the way and you truly were in every moment that you lived. THANK YOU for loving me and for allowing me to love you back. You will forever own a piece of my heart and you will never ever be forgotten sweet girl. I hope that you found the Ravenclaw house, they'd be lucky to have you.
I love you 3000.
I know most of you didn't know Angelina personally. But to me, to her family, to countless others who had the privilege of knowing Angelina or even those who didn't know her but who were inspired by her....this incredible loss is overwhelming to say the least. We might not have been related by blood, but Angelina will always be family to me. Whether she and I were playing a game, dancing or even just laying in her hospital bed taking turns playing our favorite songs, we always managed to have fun.
Family to me is not as simple as a blood connection, true family are those people around you who love you unconditionally and without judgment. Family are the people who tug at your heart by the simple sound of their voice or even that fleeting thought of them. They're the kind of people who give you a guaranteed smile and who can make you laugh on a dime. Angelina is my family...I have so many beautiful memories, so many things that she said to me that truly shocked me to the core in a wonderful way.
I always felt honored that she claimed me as one of her favorite people and that she'd end our visits with a big "please don't go" hug and a "Love you 3000" (Marvel fans will understand that). Angelina was SOOOOO funny and feisty (much like her amazing mama), I really don't understand how this earthly world will continue to revolve without her in it. My own heart breaks and yet Angelina is not even my daughter, I can't even fathom the pain that Danielle, Sandy and Aiden are feeling and will have to live with for the rest of their lives. I hate this for all of them.
Angelina, I am SO proud of you and the incredible person that you had become. You truly lived every single day to the fullest and in the process you kicked cancers ass. You were strong through it all because you had no other choice, but you did have the choice to be happy along the way and you truly were in every moment that you lived. THANK YOU for loving me and for allowing me to love you back. You will forever own a piece of my heart and you will never ever be forgotten sweet girl. I hope that you found the Ravenclaw house, they'd be lucky to have you.
I love you 3000.
Maybe there will be a day where I no longer need to make these tribute ribbons. Saying goodbye has been completely unreal and unnatural in every way.
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